P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I FOUND THE LEGS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
