I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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