Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
