You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
