Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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