He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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