Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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