hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
