I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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