By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Two words: blizzard sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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