which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
