I hope mine doesn't look like that
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
