im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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