Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
