There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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