I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
