I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
