Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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