I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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