the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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