carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i dont even know how to be here
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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