I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
