Barsexuality is the new black.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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