Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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