This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
