Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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