$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
