Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
