Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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