I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
