he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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