Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
