just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
