Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
