She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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