gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
