she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
