I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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