you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
