I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
