Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
