My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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