I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I could fuck to npr.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
