i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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