I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
