I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
