So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i've created a new STD.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
