oh god the rape fog is back!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i now understand why vodka
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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