The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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