He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Princesses don't give blow jobs
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He felt like a one man threesome
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
