Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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