Did you just see the Batmobile???
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
