I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
time to smoke my breakfast
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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